***Note: I wrote this a few weeks after Part I. I just suck as posting when I’ve written stuff. Forgive me? Awesome.***
I thought things were complicated at my old job. Medical devices, in Switzerland, paperwork and processes, checklists and checklists for your checklists. However, when I needed something from IT I could go there and ask my colleague. When there was an HR issue, I could pick up the phone and call.
“Daphne, there’s a mistake on my pay slip, the zip code is 8120 not 8012. Cool, thanks!”
My line manager ordered my computer weeks before my entry yet I was still without for the better part of my first day. My first foray into the dysfunctions of synergy. All systems working as one, but it’s hard to be in lock step when there are more systems than were employees at my first company.
No matter, I got the computer. Pretty little thing. Complete with my security card to go along with my security badge. And my security on-boarding documents. When I opened my computer the first time I had 26 emails, 21 one of which were sent to me before I was even an official employee.
Read this and sign here for your pension account!
Read this and click here to make your IT help account!
Read this and fill out this disclosure form!
Read this to find out how to apply for vacation days!
Read this and go into downward dog to sign up for lunchtime yoga!
I wanted to dip my toe in to see the how the ripples formed in the bureaucratic ether, but in reality at the beginning of my first day I was only two steps from the edge of a very tall platform. At the end of my first day I was asked to take a step forward. At the beginning of the third day, when the honeymoon ended, I was greeted by, “so, you’re good right?” And before I could answer my project list started to populate. Geronimo.
But so far, so good. My colleagues are nice and polite. They have all helped me in one way or another. The office is fine and there are lots of restaurants and bistros to fuel up at so you can continue to do what they’re paying you to do. Clickity clackity.
I am still in the phase of utter awe, though. I took my coffee break one day and walked around. Floors and floors, and wings and wings full of people. People meeting, people chatting, people clacking away wearing noise-cancelling headphones trying to block out the noise of literally thousands of other people doing what they are doing.
As I progress I am sure I will see the underbelly of the organization and I’m convinced it will be thatched with paper. Process DI-9899.34 v3 and Regulation GY-37A-877 v1.2. The only difference from my previous employer is that these documents will be controlled by some sort of automated content management system or something.
The Kool-Aid isn’t so bad. At times it’s a bit much to swallow but it’s not yet bitter and is actually quite refreshing. I don’t really know what to think of all of this. I was incredibly excited when I saw the job posting, during my interviews and the whole hiring process. Now that I have started, I am still very excited am really just trying to wrap my head around the scale of everything. I don’t want to get lost in the sea of dapper go-getters in pressed white shirts or blouses. I’m taking it day by day, absorbing as much as I can and asking the questions I need the answers to. So let’s see if this Kool-Aid is caffeinated because I am going to need a bunch.
Photo credit: https://betanews.com/2015/01/07/the-battle-of-the-translators-man-vs-machine/