Quality Control, Part II

To read Part I: Act I, Scene I click heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeere

Act I

Scene II

After a short trip to the cafe downstairs, Linda retreats back to her desk. In the 15 minutes she had been away she had received 31 new emails. Her SOS call to ProZ and Translators Café had returned some hits. Before clicking to read the emails, she decided to eat her triangular-box tuna sandwich and Sun Chips. She had to settle for Original, they were out of French Onion.

TOMMY: So, Lin, I had an idea. I just sent you the paint test translation that we use. What I did though was I went through and did a search and replace, I changed all instances of “Paint” and changed it to “Quantum Encryption Software”. You’re welcome.

LINDA: Oh yea? Does it look OK? Did you read it?

TOMMY: Sure it looks OK! I mean, did I read it…um…no. I skimmed it. Not all of it. Just like the first couple of sentences.

LINDA: Well, thanks. I’ll have a look.

Reading to herself: (Recorded voice plays on speakers her inner voice)

“….one of the first things you want to consider before you Quantum Encryption Software is color. Color and tonal range says a lot about your personal style and vibrancy, of course different types of Quantum Encryption Software, matte, glossy, semi-gloss, will show their colors differently…using a roller, apply an even coat of Quantum Encryption Software. You need to roll slowly to avoid any Quantum Encryption Software from splattering you or any adjacent surfaces…”

LINDA: (Shaking her head in disbelief) Tommy, what part did you say you read again? This is terrible, I can’t give this to anybody, it has nothing to do with anything! It’s all gibberish!

Linda closes the test translation document and gets back to her emails, now up to 44 unread. She is perusing the responses to her job posting, she had not put the budget so she would attract a larger field of possible translators for this project.

LINDA: (inner voice) “English to Javanese translator with 13 years experience. Specializes in legal texts and contracts.” “English to Georgian profesional translater. I have 19 years experience translating in field of engineering, mechanical and civil types. Can output 2.500 words per day. USD 0.19 per word.” “Hello, thank you for considering me for your project. I am recent graduate of Technical University of Sofia for degree in Computer Sciences. Please find my CV and rate sheet attached.”

LINDA: I think I found a winner! Tommy, look at this, degree in Computer Science, lives in Sofia and a 105 TOEFL score!

TOMMY: Is that good?

LINDA: I don’t know. But I am going call him, what time is it in Bulgaria?

TOMMY: I don’t know. Late? Early?

LINDA: OK, you’re not helping. Let me Google it…OK, it’s 2:45 PM here on Tuesday, they are 2 hours ahead of London who is 8 hours ahead of us, 10 hours plus 2.45 is 12.45, does that make sense? Is that AM or PM? Or is it 10 hours plus 14.45? 24.45? Can it be 24.45 somewhere? AHHHHH!!! Tommy!

TOMMY: What?

LINDA: If they are 10 hours ahead of us, what time is it there?

TOMMY: What time is it here?


TOMMY: OH SHIT! I had a meeting with Bill at 2.30! Either way, that translator’s sleeping or drunk, you can’t call him.

LINDA: What makes you think he’d be drunk?

TOMMY: Um, do you sometimes have a glass of wine in the evening after work?

LINDA: Yea, why?

TOMMY: Well it’s Bulgaria and he’s a student. So take that glass of wine, turn it into a pint of vodka and you have what he’s doing right now. If he’s not asleep. (On the intercom with Bill) Bill! We have a meeting, remember?

LINDA:  You are stereotyping and assuming. That’s awful!

BILL: (Through the intercom) Huh? Oh yea, the meeting. Come to my office in 15 minutes, I have few calls to make.

TOMMY: (To Bill) Got it. (To Linda) But I’m right.

LINDA: How do you know?

TOMMY: I read it in MAXIM. Anyway, just email him and see if he’ll do it or call him in the morning tomorrow.

LINDA: Morning here or morning there?


LINDA: Never mind.

Continue to Part III here———>



  1. I loved this! So tell me, when is part III coming?

    • Hi!

      I am so glad you liked it! Kind of a spewing of memories, fears and humor that I experienced in the workplace.

      Right now we are a bit tied up with wedding stuff but I promise parts III and IV (since I don’t think I can resolve everything in one more part) are coming.

      Thanks for the comment and stay tuned!


  2. Pingback: Quality Control, part III | roughly translated

  3. Pingback: Quality Control, part I « roughly translated

  4. Pingback: Quality Control, part IV « roughly translated

  5. Pingback: Quality Control, Part V « roughly translated

  6. Pingback: Quality Control, Part VI « roughly translated

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